Three Steps to Affair Proof Your Marriage

Every day I see it. Men and Women leaving one another over infidelity. Sometimes, this occurs after years of marriage. “We’ve just grown apart” I hear them saying. Really? Does time really rob us of our excitement, love, and commitment? I’m not sure that’s how God designed our lives…

My lover speaks to me, “Get up, my darling, my beautiful one. Let’s go away!
(Song of Solomon 2:10 ERV)

When we start out with ourĀ beautifulĀ one, our words are likely more in line with this verse of scripture. We are anxious to get up, go away, and live in bliss forever. All too soon, the reality of life sets in. Bills are due, the kids (oh yeah, you had a couple right?) are screaming, the car isn’t running right and your hours have been cut back at work. These are things that happen to everyone and many allow these things to ruin their relationships. In many other cases, we get bored with our spouses or betrothed and think life’s better elsewhere. Some people just like to lie and see how many notches in a belt they can get. Others struggle getting older and wondering if they still “got it”. The excuses are many and the lives shattered are just as numerous. I once had a young woman tell me “Love doesn’t last forever..It never does.” Then she proceeded to tell me “My mom says it’s about 10 years or so and then it’s over..” I had to shake my head and wonder how a generation is being taught these things while I struggle to make sure my kids understand that they should expect better in their relationships as they grow into adults. Several years ago, I came up with an easy to execute three point formula for affair proofing my marriage. It’s worked so far and as of this writing I’m nearing the 24 year mark with my wonderful wife. Do you want to keep the fire in your marriage burning? Do you want to keep passion alive and your sex lives interesting and fulfilling as God intended? Here’s my three point plan. In fact, I’m so committed to it, I write these three things down each day and make sure I’ve done them:

  1. Find one thing about my wife I can praise her on. Each day I look for something great to tell her. Thanks for keeping up with the laundry even though you work. Thanks for a great dinner. Thanks for a wonderful date. You are the best mom, wife, servant I know. Find SOMETHING to tell her each day how special she is. PRAISE HER and don’t wait for a return comment. Do it because you love her!
  2. Find one thing about her that I love. My wife has these amazing eyes. I tell her often how pretty they are. But I also love her heart for children. She’s a great kids teacher in my church. I love her sense of adventure. The key is I find one thing each day that I love about her and I TELL HER.
  3. Find one way to serve my wife. The last thing is to find at least one thing each day (and you can do more than one if you really try!) that I can do serve my wife. Maybe the laundry needs to be folded, put on hangers, etc. Maybe her flower bed needs to be weeded and watered. Maybe she needs a back or foot rub. (Yes guys you can do this). Whatever the need or perceived need, I make it my mission to DO at least one thing for her to serve her and show her I love her.

That’s it. Three easy steps you can take each day to show your spouse how much you love them. If you do these three things each day I will guarantee this..Your spouse will never turn out to be a bore. You may get tired from time to time. The two of you might still occasionally disagree. Yes, you might even have a spat..It happens. But if you take the time each day to do these three things, those tough times are easier to navigate through when your better half knows you love them.


Three Steps to Affair Proof Your Marriage